As the PGA Tour season starts it's season in Hawaii, those of us unlucky inhabitants of the Northeast still have two looming brutal months of winter left to suffer through until the weather in our neck of the woods becomes tolerable again...
In case you can't tell, I HATE WINTER...
Granted, most of my dislike of winter stems from it's halting of the golf season, along with the cease of almost all outdoor life. However, there is one other aspect of Winter that I dislike most of all. One that has tormented me every year since we purchased our tiny little house. I am speaking, of course, of.................................................................................SNOW
The white death. A plague upon all in humanity who must put a stopper in life for 3 months each year. It is the same thing every year...the thousands of already horrible drivers become even worse at the sight of that first snowflake as it touches the pavement ahead of them. The endles hours wasted, shovel in had, clearing a path so that you can get to wherever it is that you spend most of your life, miserably working & wishing that you were at home with your loved ones. Then the inevitable pain relievers & hours with the heating pads that follow, in an attempt to sooth your aching back.
I've suffered through it for longer than I care to remember. But now, however, a light beckons from the end of that perverbial tunnel. My father in law has swooped in, like Underdog flying in to rescue Sweet Polly Purebread, with yet another much-too-generous gesture to save us yet again. I had tried to convince my one-and-only to allow me to purchase one for years to no avail. But now, thanks to Bob, we finally have a SNOWBLOWER (the sounds of a crowd cheering wildly fill the air). The one dream common amoung all men during these three months of wintery hell. It's all about the lines. They must be straight. I've never used one myself, yet been caught up in the discussions like I'd been out there for years, carefully eyeballing the edges, looking for any slight variation from beginning to end.
A Snowblower...at long last. The dream has finally been realized. But as is anything in our lives, god must have his laughs & poke fun at us tiny mortals . Naturally, since we have been graced with this much saught after dream, by the benevolence of UnderBob...
NOT A FLAKE...
Not one damn storm of mention that would even slightly call for taking the cover off of the beautiful black snowblower. And that will be the story of this entire winter. It will be cold...very cold, grey, & miserable...& now that I finally do not need to wrench my back in agonizing pain, we will not see a snow storm until at least next year......or worse, a freak blizzard in the middle of April, just in time to ruin & postpone the beginning of golf season all across New England, giving us all one more kick square in the nuts...
It Figures...
In case you can't tell, I HATE WINTER...
Granted, most of my dislike of winter stems from it's halting of the golf season, along with the cease of almost all outdoor life. However, there is one other aspect of Winter that I dislike most of all. One that has tormented me every year since we purchased our tiny little house. I am speaking, of course, of.................................................................................SNOW
The white death. A plague upon all in humanity who must put a stopper in life for 3 months each year. It is the same thing every year...the thousands of already horrible drivers become even worse at the sight of that first snowflake as it touches the pavement ahead of them. The endles hours wasted, shovel in had, clearing a path so that you can get to wherever it is that you spend most of your life, miserably working & wishing that you were at home with your loved ones. Then the inevitable pain relievers & hours with the heating pads that follow, in an attempt to sooth your aching back.
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas my ass...whomever it is that wrote that song has obviously never wasted any of his life shoveling a driveway for eight hours in order to clear a path through the "winter majesty"....crap...give me a palm tree in the desert with Christmas lights on it every day over any more of this sh*t
I've suffered through it for longer than I care to remember. But now, however, a light beckons from the end of that perverbial tunnel. My father in law has swooped in, like Underdog flying in to rescue Sweet Polly Purebread, with yet another much-too-generous gesture to save us yet again. I had tried to convince my one-and-only to allow me to purchase one for years to no avail. But now, thanks to Bob, we finally have a SNOWBLOWER (the sounds of a crowd cheering wildly fill the air). The one dream common amoung all men during these three months of wintery hell. It's all about the lines. They must be straight. I've never used one myself, yet been caught up in the discussions like I'd been out there for years, carefully eyeballing the edges, looking for any slight variation from beginning to end.
A Snowblower...at long last. The dream has finally been realized. But as is anything in our lives, god must have his laughs & poke fun at us tiny mortals . Naturally, since we have been graced with this much saught after dream, by the benevolence of UnderBob...
NOT A FLAKE...
Not one damn storm of mention that would even slightly call for taking the cover off of the beautiful black snowblower. And that will be the story of this entire winter. It will be cold...very cold, grey, & miserable...& now that I finally do not need to wrench my back in agonizing pain, we will not see a snow storm until at least next year......or worse, a freak blizzard in the middle of April, just in time to ruin & postpone the beginning of golf season all across New England, giving us all one more kick square in the nuts...
It Figures...
4 comments:
You make me laugh
HOORAY!!! you guys FINALLY got a snowblower?? Yahoo!!!!!! Hopefully no more ice chipping for you guys!!!
OH, and by the way...I HATE WINTER TOO!!!!! Can we all just move somewhere warm - say, Florida, or Arizona? I don't even have to break my back shoveling (my wonderful hubby has a snowblower), but just merely walking to my car in the snow makes me want to cry.........
Winter isn't so bad here in LA. I'm not a golfer, but maybe I'll go play 9 holes or something just to rub it in. Hell, I think even mini-golf would do the trick at this point ;)
Post a Comment