And they won't let Golf be an Olympic sport...

Now I am a pretty big fan of the Olympic Games. I think that it is one of the one bastians of pure sport left in the world today (with the exception of Basketball, Hockey, Tennis, & the other sports in which Professionals are allowed to compete). But with that said, I truly think that they need to examine some of the sports that they allow into both the Summer & Winter Games, along with those which are deemed to not be Olympic as of yet.

Tug of war, rugby, polo, lacrosse, and golf were once on the Olympic programme. Climbing, bridge, golf, roller skating and surfing are sports that are recognised by the International Olympic Committee (IOC). The International Sports Federations (IFs) that administer these sports must ensure that their statutes, practice and activities conform with the Olympic Charter, but they are not allowed to be part of the actual Olympic Games. These are some of the most popular sports in the world...ALL OVER THE WORLD.

• Although more popular with the High School & College population in the United States, Rugby is hugely popular in almost every developed country in the rest of the world.
• Lacrosse is yet another enormously popular sport, along the same lines as Rugby. Widely played throughout the world...
  
• Tug of War....although it is more fun than I can describe during the Greek Games at many Universities across the US, I can see why this one is no longer in the Olympic Programme.
• Roller Skating...not really a sport (unless full contact) & wasn't even really that fun during the couples skate at Rollerworld.

Golf, however, is one sport that I cannot imagine is not an olympic event. There are golf courses in almost every civilized country in the world. Golf is also one of the world's most popular sports among people of all ages, races, & classes. I have to believe that just about every country that brings any sort of team to the Games of the whatever number Olympiad would have an entry in the event. Also, I guarantee that there is a world class golf course in the vicinity of every single city that has held & would ever hold a Summer Olympic Games. There are professional golf events & tours held in every portion of the world, with the possible exception of those regions which have a sub-freezing climate.

This is how the International Olympic Committee describes the sport of Golf:

Golf has been on the Olympic programme twice, in 1900 and 1904. There were two golf events in 1900 - one for gentlemen and one for ladies. Golf is one of the world's most popular sports, being played in well over 100 nations world-wide. Golf also has a long history, as it origins can be traced back several centuries, and it has had organised international competitions since the mid-19th century. In the last decade golf has made entreaties to be returned to the Olympic programme.

Now what in that blurb would make them think that it should not be an Olympic event? If you can explain it to me, please do.

Now, let's go over the top 10 sports currently contested in the Olympic Games that, to a great many people, are questionable at best...but are somehow more suitable than golf...

1. Curling - Now I find this sport to be exciting & fascinating...but where & when is it competed outside of the Winter Olympics...not to mention that if I decided that I would be a damn good curler (which, by the way, I have no doubt that I would be the Tiger Woods of Curling), where & how would I get into the sport? NO ONE KNOWS...but if someone does, please let me know, because I'm serious about wanting to try it...
   
2. Badminton - Unless you are a diminutive Asian or Forrest Gump, I wouldn't call this a sport...Dodge Ball deserves to be an Olympic Sport more than Badminton...

   (On a random note..who doesn't think that Dodge Ball would take second seat only to Women's Beach Volleyball as the most watched Olympic event? All they would need is a Misty May & they'd be even more popular...)

3. Ice Dancing - An event for skaters who can't jump, don't have enough talent to be figure skaters, but are still too sissy to play Hockey...although the women are much more attractive than women in figure skating...
   
4. Rhythmic Gymnastics - Much like Ice Dancing, people who couldn't really hack it as gymnasts... just running & skipping about flitting their ribbons around in the air...
5. Trampoline - Every 8 year old's dream ( along with my wife's ), but an Olympic event? I don't think so...
6. Table Tennis - Also known as Gossima. Whiff-Whaff. Flim-Flam. Ping-Pong... sounds like Kim Jong-Il on a rampage... please reference the diminutive Asian comment above...
7. Short-Track Speed Skating - Again, the diminutive Asian theme continues & anyone else who couldn't cut it in real speed skating (which is an event which I love to watch, by the way)...plus that kid with the soul patch was just over-hyped & annoying...
8. Hand Ball - Dodge Ball would be a much more exciting event any day of the week...
9. Wrestling - I know it's there to stay, but it's just blatant repressed homosexuality...
10. Syncronized Swimming - Enough said...

That Damn Little Cherrub...

I'm sure that you all will agree with me on the fact that this holiday is total crap. Just another manufactured holiday conjured up by those evil Hallmark people (I hate Hallmark...). Not that there are many others, this one just really gets to me...

Why is it that I should love my wife more today than on any other day of the year? Can someone please explain that to me? I buy my wife a dozen roses almost every week, not because some fat little angel says that I should, but because I love her & my bringing her home a dozen roses a few times a month makes her smile. It is a small gesture that shows her that I love her...ALL YEAR. Not just on February 14th. Are most men really that stupid that they need to be given a specific day to outwardly love the women in thier lives? Are women even more stupid, only expecting it one day every year? The worst part of it is that most women do now expect it. If for some reason, the man in their life doesn't have a $100 dozen roses delivered to them at work for everyone to see, a bitter argument is sure to follow that night...or even that afternoon on the telephone. That same woman wouldn't expect that any other day of the year...& it's all the fault of that fat winged devil named Cupid.

This only reason that this holiday persists, other than evil corpoations like Hallmark & Kabloom, is so those desperate women can cling to the hope that their husband or significant others really do love them. Somehow, getting flowers & candy on Valentine's Day makes up for being neglected every other day of the year. They don't realize that being guilted into it by society at large (not to mention the Little Flying Fatty) doesn't mean that they are truly loved & adored the way that they really want to be.

It's actually really pathetic. Due to the simple fact that most men don't have a romantic bone in their body, society (no doubt initially thought of by a woman) instituted a day mandating romance. But it isn't real. Not to mention that a dozen roses cost about $80 more per dozen, which is horse-shit too. How is it that Kabloom can get away with that? It's ridiculous! And just imagine how many staff writers Hallmark has, just sitting there in K.C. thinking up new catch phrases for their stupid cards...it's enough to make you cough up all those Necco-Heart candies you've been downing all damn day...


A few tips for the gentlemen in order to survive these dark days of February:

1. Boycott all Hallmark products (American Greeting Cards are better anyway)...
2. Buy your roses at either Shaw's or Stop & Shop...they'll be a quarter the cost & will save you from having to bend over for those rapists at Kabloom...they'll last longer too...
   
3. If you give a girl one of those little baseball-card looking Valentine's cards that you used to get when you were in first grade, they will think you are being all kinds of adorable (no matter what their age)...
4. This is the one day when the gift of candy doesn't translate into "You look fat in those jeans"...
5. Those TAG Body Spray commericals are a farse...
   
6. Suit-Up...it works...
7. Sweater-vests are the new black...
   
8. Just because you drop a few hundred on a fancy dinner & a bottle of Cristal, doesn't mean that she won't throw it up later...
   
9. Accept it now...flowers & candy doesn't mean you'll get laid...sorry dude...
10. They always appreciate you at a Gentlemen's CLub...& they might have a good buffet...
    
11. If all else fails...apply for your gun permit in January...it takes 3 weeks & no one will blame you...