I'm sure that you all will agree with me on the fact that this holiday is total crap. Just another manufactured holiday conjured up by those evil Hallmark people (I hate Hallmark...). Not that there are many others, this one just really gets to me...
Why is it that I should love my wife more today than on any other day of the year? Can someone please explain that to me? I buy my wife a dozen roses almost every week, not because some fat little angel says that I should, but because I love her & my bringing her home a dozen roses a few times a month makes her smile. It is a small gesture that shows her that I love her...ALL YEAR. Not just on February 14th. Are most men really that stupid that they need to be given a specific day to outwardly love the women in thier lives? Are women even more stupid, only expecting it one day every year? The worst part of it is that most women do now expect it. If for some reason, the man in their life doesn't have a $100 dozen roses delivered to them at work for everyone to see, a bitter argument is sure to follow that night...or even that afternoon on the telephone. That same woman wouldn't expect that any other day of the year...& it's all the fault of that fat winged devil named Cupid.
This only reason that this holiday persists, other than evil corpoations like Hallmark & Kabloom, is so those desperate women can cling to the hope that their husband or significant ot
hers really do love them. Somehow, getting flowers & candy on Valentine's Day makes up for being neglected every other day of the year. They don't realize that being guilted into it by society at large (not to mention the Little Flying Fatty) doesn't mean that they are truly loved & adored the way that they really want to be.It's actually really pathetic. Due to the simple fact that most men don't have a romantic bone in their body, society (no doubt initially thought of by a woman) instituted a day mandating romance. But it isn't real. Not to mention that a dozen roses cost about $80 more per dozen, which is horse-shit too. How is it that Kabloom can get away with that? It's ridiculous! And just imagine how many staff writers Hallmark has, just sitting there in K.C. thinking up new catch phrases for their stupid cards...it's enough to make you cough up all those Necco-Heart candies you've been downing all damn day...
A few tips for the gentlemen in order to survive these dark days of February:
- Boycott all Hallmark products (American Greeting Cards are better anyway)...
- Buy your roses at either Shaw's or Stop & Shop...they'll be a quarter the cost & will save you from having to bend over for those rapists at Kabloom...they'll last longer too...
- If you give a girl one of those little baseball-card looking Valentine's cards that you used to get when you were in first grade, they will think you are being all kinds of adorable (no matter what their age)...
- This is the one day when the gift of candy doesn't translate into "You look fat in those jeans"...
- Those TAG Body Spray commericals are a farse...
- Suit-Up...it works...
- Sweater-vests are the new black...
- Just because you drop a few hundred on a fancy dinner & a bottle of Cristal, doesn't mean that she won't throw it up later...
- Accept it now...flowers & candy doesn't mean you'll get laid...sorry dude...
- They always appreciate you at a Gentlemen's CLub...& they might have a good buffet...
- If all else fails...apply for your gun permit in January...it takes 3 weeks & no one will blame you...
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